Browns Hire Mike Lombardi: Cleveland Loses its $hit

Hello Cleveland, Me and my awful hair cut are here to ruin your football team! MUWAHAHAHA!

And thus begins the Mike Lombardi era. Buckle up folks. This could get ugly.

The biggest non-secret in the Browns offseason of change finally becomes official later this morning when they will announce his hiring in an introductory press conference. Even though we knew this was coming, we all hoped and prayed it was nothing more than a rumor and that we would be spared from this potential disaster in the making.

So far, based on the reaction to the hiring both on Twitter and on “The Really Big Show” no body who is a fan of the Browns sees this as a good hire. In fact, the general sentiment appears to be that this hire is nothing more than a way for Joe Banner to insulate himself with yes men and skew the balance of power within the organization in his favor. To answer your question… ya, I’m not a fan of this either. This is probably setting up to become a mess.

This is our future. God damn it…

Lombardi’s track record as a player personnel/GM isn’t good. He’s widely regarded as being a weasel and has been fired from every job he’s ever had in the league. His notable player personnel moves are being instrumental in cutting Bernie Kosar (that’s always a good way to endear yourself to Browns fans), drafting Jamarcus Russell and Robert Gallery (both enormous busts), and leaving behind rosters in worse shape than they were before he arrived.

Lombardi’s lone redeeming qualification is that he’s apparently friends with Bill Simmons and appeared on the B.S. Report every week during the NFL season for a couple of years now.

Ya… that’s it.

So what does this mean for the Browns? Well, first off it means we’ve “upgraded” from Tom Heckert to Mike Lombardi. Seriously, they thought that was a good idea? Why? How? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. Have people started lining up to jump off of the I-480 bridge yet? 

How can anyone take this guy seriously?

It also means trouble for a lot of current Browns. Lombardi was critical of the top half of our draft last year, hating on many of the selections made by Heckert. He’s not at all a fan of Brandon Weeden. When the Browns used a second round pick in the supplemental draft to select Josh Gordon he openly admitted to thinking it was a terrible move (you have to admit he looks like an idiot in hindsight). Trent Richardson… well, like I said he hated the top half of our draft last year so jump to your own conclusions there.

This is great. Words cannot begin to describe how excited I am about this. I was a little terrified that the Browns were actually going to get good and we would have to drop the whole God hates Cleveland, Factory of Sadness routine. Looks like we’ll have the chance to hang on to that for a few more years until the Browns decide to undergo yet another organizational reboot.

Again, this just further proves what we already knew to be true. God does in fact hate Cleveland… with a passion.

Seriously, what did we do?

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