Letters From a Cleveland Fan: An Open Letter to College Football

Dear College Football,

Well, that certainly escalated quickly. No seriously, that really got out of hand there.

That’s basically the best way to describe what went on last night in Miami during your alleged “national title game.” It was a complete and utter joke. You should be embarassed by what you offered up to the masses for public consumption. The worst part of it… All we can do is expect more of the same in years to come.

Who is going to stop the SEC? What force of a football team is going to rise from the ashes of college football’s baren wasteland to slay the dragon that is running amuck? Nobody. Absolutely nobody. That’s who.

Actually, let me correct myself for a second. The only thing getting in the way of the juggernauts in the SEC right now is their own selves. No team can compete with what they’re doing. They’re bigger, faster, stronger and quite frankly, they’re just better than anyone else. All we can really hope for is that each and every single one of them commits one of your ridiculous NCAA violations and implodes their programs from within.

Now I ask you… Don’t you think there’s a fundamental problem when the only way anyone has a chance is if the teams within the SEC eliminate themselves from contention via rules violations? How is that fair and, more importantly, how does that  make any of what your doing interesting? Simple answer: It doesn’t.

Let me break it down for you this way…

You have absolutely nothing to offer me anymore. With what college football has morphed into, a money grubbing cash cow that continues to throw tradition aside in favor of super conferences and mega powers, why should anyone living above the Mason Dixon line even care? If I’m being honest, it’s gotten to the point that the only value you have to me is to serve as a breeding ground for NFL talent. In other words, you have the privleage of developing players for the only level of football that actually matters.

Now please, save me your nonsense about how a playoff system is going to help resolve all of your issues. It won’t. As long as your determining things based off of computer points and the ridiculous need for a team to go undefeated it won’t matter. Instead of hearing arguments for the #2 spot it’ll be for the #4 spot. Oh, and to add to this, for a team to win the title, they’re probably going to have to beat not just one, but rather two SEC teams in the procees.

Good luck with that one.

Thanks to the ridiculous sanctions you placed on Ohio State this year I actually made it through an entire college season without actually paying attention. And you know what? It was pretty great. I haven’t had a free Saturday that didn’t involve college football since I was about 8 years old. Now I don’t think I ever have to go back to that. So thanks.

Now that’s not saying I’m gone forever. If you can somehow get your shit together and develop a legitimate playoff system that forces teams to win games in order to get into a championship game then I’ll probably be back. Until then, don’t call, write, or even text me. I don’t want anything to do with you.

Now please, go away so those of us not born in a woodshed in fum-buck Alabama or Louisiana can get back to what really matters… the NFL Playoffs.


Cleveland Fan


One thought on “Letters From a Cleveland Fan: An Open Letter to College Football

  1. Worry not, this current run by the SEC won’t last forever. We are about four years away from Urban Meyer turning the Big Ten into the SEC North.

    But you are dead-on about the play-off. .

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