Browns Monday Mailbag

The Browns played a game yesterday and they actually won! That makes 2 out of 3 and 2 in a row at home. What the hell is going on here? What are the Browns trying to pull? I’m suspicious. Who are we kidding, the Browns are still awful. Anyway, I guess that means it’s time for a Browns Monday Mailbag. The only Browns mail bag on the internet where the emails are 100% fake, but still find a way to be 100% blatantly honest.

That makes two in a row. What now smart ass? What now? Still think Shurmur is an incompetent moron? I mean the Browns managed to rally together and defeat a team that has continually underachieved year after year after year. So I’ll ask again. What do you think of Shurmur now? I’ll wait for your apology. -Pat, Mike Holmgren’s Empty Condo

HA HA HA HA…. Oh Pat, keep dreaming. One win against a team that is in shambles does not automatically make you a genius. I mean honestly, you won the game, but the offense only scored 7 points and by all accounts should have lost that game if not for the fact that Norv Turner might be a worse coach than you. Your offense scored on its first possession mainly because Trent Richardson is a man-beast and then punted every possession afterwards. I can’t believe you actually want an apology. If anything you should be apologizing to us. I can almost guarantee that come April when the Browns are once again one spot lower in the draft than there are studs available, we’ll look at this game as the reason we miss out… again.

*Blink*… *Blink*… *Blink*… -Norv, Parking lot at the unemployment office

Ladies and gentlemen… another outstanding performance from Norv Turner! Norv, you’re the best.

I hate my team. I hate my coach. I hate the offensive line. I hate the weather. I hate everything. Everything is the worst. I’m going to go club a baby seal with an elephant tusk. -Philip, San Diego Zoo

Philip Rivers has fallen off a cliff from a performance standpoint. In terms of being a complete and total dick when it comes to how he behaves on the sidelines he’s still as good as ever, but wow… seriously, what happened? This was a perennial Pro-Bowl quarterback. I don’t know if it was the rain or the lack of receiving depth or what, but Philip Rivers is currently in year two of the Philip Rivers resume bonfire. Although, I especially liked how he berated his right tackle as he caught a deflected pass. It was like watching a slow motion train wreck. Now someone, please hide the baby seals!

It was the rain’s fault, I swear! -Greg, Berea, OH

Maybe it was the rain’s fault. Or, maybe you just can’t catch. Another week and another perfect pass hits you in the hands and ends up on the ground. I have a serious question. Who thought it was a good idea to turn Greg Little into a wide receiver. Does this person still have a job? In football? How was that decision even made? Usually, players possessing Little’s ability to catch not catch the ball become defensive backs and linebackers. See ball, catch ball. It’s not difficult. I think I’d almost rather watch Josh Cribbs playing wide out. At least I know he’s going to catch the ball when it’s thrown his way and if he doesn’t he’s going to damn near kill himself trying to.

So it’s going to take a hurricane for Pat Shurmur to give me the ball 20+ times in a game. Go figure. I got carries and surprise, surprise… I put up 100+ yards on the ground and had one hell of an impressive TD run. I swear, I’m about to get a shaman and pray for rain each and every week. -Trent, Hot tub

I agree 100%. It’s ridiculous that it takes playing in a hurricane for Pat Shurmur to give Trent Richardson the ball enough times to have an impact on the outcome of the game. That’s not to say that Brandon Weeden isn’t developing nicely, he is, but when you have a player of Richardson’s caliber he has to have the ball in his hands. Why the need to almost avoid giving him the ball makes no sense to me. He’s the best player on offense and has the ability to break a big run at any moment. Not to mention, running Richardson more keeps the defense honest, opens up passing lanes, and… quite simply… wears down the defense and makes things easier for everyone. Then again, what do I know. I’m not an offensive guru. I’m just a hack with his own internet blog.

This winning stuff is pretty great. A guy sure could get used to this feeling! -Jimmy, Knoxville, TN

Jimmy, I suggest you pump the brakes a bit. Actually, check that. You should be stomping down on that brake as hard as humanly possible. Plow your foot through the floor boards if need be. This is the Browns we’re talking about here. Despite the fact that they’ve won 2 out of their past 3 games and two in a row at home that doesn’t automatically make them a contender. We need to see them sustain success over the course of several weeks. The minute you begin expecting NFL Caliber football is when they go out and get stomped 45-3. Good thing we don;t have to play the Ravens this week or anything. Oh, crap. We do play the Ravens this week. Actually that’s not a bad thing. The Ravens will serve as a good test as to where exactly this teams stands. If they can keep it close or possibly even win the game, I might entertain the thought of the Browns being a semi-decent home football team. The road is a totally different story. Anyways, keep expectations low. That way, there’s a better chance that the team will surpass your expectations rather than falling short yet again.

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