Browns Monday Mailbag

Welcome to the second ever Browns Mailbag. The only Browns mail bag on the internet where the emails are 100% fake, but still find a way to be 100% blatantly honest.

Sooooo… I know that like the Browns drafted Trent Richardson and all but that Montario Hardesty sure is lookin’ pretty good. Am I right? He lost some weight, got himself all trim and cut, and he’s really gotten that first step back that he was missing. That knee finally looks healthy too so c’mon, admit it man, Montario is lookin’ like he’s bout to have himself a break out season! Am I right? -Montario, Ice tub, Berea, OH

While some of that might be true and some of that might be mindless gobbily gook, I have to admit Hardesty has been somewhat of a pleasant surprise. Then again he also fumbled the opening snap of the game this past Thursday and had it been a game that meant something, probably would have set the Browns up for a nice 42-6 shellacking. So, I mean… sure I guess he could have a decent year if Trent Richardson decides to kidnap himself.

Look at the Browns offense go! That Pat Shurmur is a genius! I told you he was a great coach and an offensive guru! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to never using exclamation points ever again… -Pat, Berea, OH

Well, Pat… while the Browns 35 point outburst was impressive considering it came close to matching the point total for the entire 2011-2012 season, I find there to be one enormous piece of the puzzle that you’re missing. You know, like the part where the majority of the game was spent being played by the Packers third string, specifically Graham Harrell and not Aaron Rodgers. Was Clay Matthews breathing down Brandon Weeden’s neck for four quarters? NooooooooOOOOOOOooooo… So yeah, Pat… pump the brakes a bit, buddy. Although it’s nice of you to show some excitement.

The Packers and city of Green Bay sure do know how to honor the great ones. You know, like naming a street after Mike Holmgren. Do you think the Brown and Cleveland will ever name a street after Holmgren by chance? -Mike, Hot tub, Seattle WA

No. Never. Not a chance in hell. That’s not to say that Holmgren’s tenure with the Browns has been a total disaster. I mean they have won a few games here and there. I guess a true total disaster would have never been winning a game, so I guess it could be worse. How about a sandwich named after him instead?

Colt McCoy sure looked good on Thursday night. He’s really played well this preseason and the Browns should definitely keep him on the roster. In fact, if he keeps this up they should definitely think about starting him over Weeden. I mean, did Weeden ever have his friends write and sing a song about him? Does he have a smokin’ hot wife? Does he have the most perfect name in the history of quarterbacks? I think not. Also, I hear Colt might be lactose intolerant so Green Bay probably would agree with him. -Colt, Childhood bedroom, TX

Colt has played pretty well. But, you know what? He also played great last year and look where that got us. We finished 4-12, got the third pick in the draft, and his brains got scrambled by James Harrison. Other than that I guess things went pretty well. Here’s the thing about Colt. I think he has room to grow and can still become a quality quarterback willing to do what is best for the team regardless of whatever role he is thrown into. That’s not something I see Seneca Wallace doing. However, if the Browns want to trade him to Green Bay or any other team that is willing to offer something up for him then alright. Let’s just hope they know what they’re doing.

Two games into the preseason and once again it’s more than apparent that Phil Dawson is still the Browns best weapon on offense. They should pay the guy whatever he wants already, get ready to retire his number, and enshrine him as one of the all-time Browns greats. I mean, anyone willing to put up with this crap for this long deserves as much. -Phil, Practice field, Berea, OH

Well said my friend. Truer words have never been spoken.

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