Browns Tuesday Mailbag

So the Browns played a game back on Friday and well… It didn’t go so well. They didn’t play well, they looked sloppy, and it was more of the same from Pat Shurmur. So without further adieu, I present to you the first ever Browns Tuesday Mailbag. Where the emails are 100% fake, but still find a way to be 100% blatantly honest.

So our starting running back got hurt before taking a single handoff, our quarterback turned the ball over twice and looked like a rookie, and the offensive line played absolutely awful. In general, the Browns played the same type of sloppy, disjointed, and uninspired game that we saw week in and week out from them. Is this really all the head coach’s fault? Don’t you think we need to give him more time before running him out of town? He has room to grow! He can still figure this out! Mike Holmgren believes in me him! Shouldn’t Cleveland fans be more concerned with running that hack, Manny Acta, out of town before the head coach of the Browns???? -Pat, Berea, Ohio

Well Pat, I can’t help but feel like you have some type of strange overenthusiasm for head coach Pat Shurmur. It’s almost like you’re a little too close to the situation. The way you seem to defend Shurmur seems a bit suspicious. That being said, it’s absolutely Pat Shurmur’s fault that the Browns played as poorly as they did on Friday. All last season the Browns looked unprepared and seemed to go through the motions. Game one this season… unprepared and going through the motions. At what point does it become less about the players and more about the guy running the show?

The difference in the speed of the NFL game compared to the college game is ridiculous. The NFL guys are so fast. So…. so… fast… Rewatching the game from Friday I can’t believe how fast the linemen for the Lions are AND THEY WEREN’T EVEN PLAYING FULL SPEED! Holy crap… -Brandon, Fetal Position, Bedroom

And that is what every Browns fan failed to recognize when Brandon Weeden was drafted and ultimately anointed the starter before ever seeing a single snap of live action, NFL football. What happened on Friday night shouldn’t have been very surprising. Weeden is a rookie and sure enough he played like one. It’s going to take time before he starts to look like a legit NFL QB. Of course, that’s assuming he actually figures it out. Playing behind that line… it might take a while. God help him.

Oh F#*$! -Trent, Tuscaloosa, Alabama

I hear’ya Trent. The Browns don’t look very good right now considering the coaching situation and all the injuries that keep happening. Kinda makes you wonder how Trent Richardson feels about being drafted by the Browns #3 overall. Hey, at least he gets to spend his winters dealing with lake effect snow and sub-freezing temperatures as opposed to the 75 degrees and sunny had he gone back to Alabama.

What is the return policy on a $1 Billion NFL franchise? -Jimmy, Knoxville, Tennessee

That’s a tough question to answer. I would assume, like most purchases, the return policy on an NFL team is probably 90 days. That’s assuming you still have the receipt. You do still have the receipt, don’t you?

I recently just sold one of my dad’s hand me downs and used the profits to hop on a plane to England and watch the Olympics these past two weeks. What a great time. It’s nice not having any worries in the world, not that I had many to begin with. Now I can just sit back and wait for futbol season to start… soccer that is. Anyways, how are the Browns doing? They’re still the Browns, right? -Randy, London, England

Must be nice to be filthy rich and not have a care in the world. And yes, the Browns are still the Browns. In fact, after Friday’s performance one could even go as far as to say it’s just the same old Browns. So honestly Randy, you probably picked the perfect time to run off to England to watch the Olympics. Speaking of which, any chance you could hook me up with Alex Morgan’s phone number soccer tickets… ya, soccer tickets.

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