Indians vs. Red Sox… Game On

The Red Sox and small children have a lot in common. Mainly answering the question, “How’s the view from down there?”

The first place Indians are headed to Boston this weekend to take on the last place Boston Red Sox. What’s that? You didn’t quite understand me?  Well by all means allow me to repeat myself.  The Indians, who are in first place, are traveling to Boston to take on the last place Red Sox… emphasis on the last place part.

And with that, I’ve effectively tossed 5 gallons of gasoline onto that which is Boston’s raging inferno of anger and hatred towards Bobby Valentine and the 2012 Red Sox.

I know, go figure that a month into the season and already Red Sox fans are in a complete panic.  It’s almost as if they’ve forgotten that the baseball season is 162 games spanning the better part of 6 months.  A lot can happen between

They did WHAT!?!?

now and the end of September.  In other words, they need to check themselves before they wreck themselves, yo.

Then again, like I’m really one to talk.  As the history of this site would suggest, I’m more than capable of a classic overreaction.  Just go back and read 95% of the articles I’ve written about the Cleveland Browns.  I’m pretty sure the only way I know how to handle them is to overreact like an over tired six-year-old.  But that should be understandable.  Everyone knows that ignorance and stupidity make me cranky.  Well, Red Sox nation is cranky… and they want their binky.

They aren’t used to seeing the Red Sox in last place come the beginning of May.  By this point even their worst starts to seasons are usually a distant memory.  Oh, but not this year.  This year is different.  Instead of the cool, calming presence of Terry Francona, Boston management has saddled Red Sox Nation with Bobby Valentine.  I say saddled only because I’m trying to be nice.  If you explore the interwebs and read what all the Red Sox blogs are saying, it’s more like the Red Sox have condemned them to spend eternity sharing a studio apartment with Bobby V in the most rundown part of the city with nothing more than a backed up toilet and a refrigerator you would find on Hoarders.

In reality, Red Sox management is getting exactly what they asked for when they made Francona the scape goat to last year’s collapse and decided to hire Valentine as his successor.  I mean, Francona did win them two World Series

What’s that? Oh, you wanted me to poop with the door closed? My bad.

Championships and all, but those probably are like a dime a dozen for the Red Sox.  Oh wait… that’s right.  They hadn’t won crap before Francona.

Now they get to live through the Bobby V era; an era that no one whose a fan of that team wanted.  Management knew this.  I’m sure they heard the grumblings of the fans.  They had to of.  Why else would they put together a half-hearted managerial search that ended in the same place it started with the person everyone knew they were going to hire in the first place.  Why not just come out and say, “We’ve been a little too successful in the 2000’s.  We need to under-achieve a little bit and Bobby should really help us achieve that goal.”

Other than that, things are great.  Well, unless of course Valentine is continually inviting over his buddies for chicken and beer after a long day out on the golf course.  Oh Josh Beckett, it’s almost as if you don’t even care anymore about your legacy or reputation.  Honestly, what happened to that guy?  If I didn’t know any better I’d say the Red Sox were a work stoppage away from Beckett channeling his inner Shawm Kemp, gaining 200 lbs. and fathering a litter of children.  You know what, that probably needs to happen.  Damn you CBA stability… DAMN YOU!

Anyways, the fact of the matter remains that despite Bobby Valentine and despite the apparent flaws of the Red Sox, they’re still a pretty talented team with a lot of quality pieces.  If they could piece it all together they might really have a shot at the title in 2012.  Let’s just hope for our sake, and the Indians, that they don’t somehow figure things out over the course of the next four days.  With the way Boston is playing right now taking 3 out of the next 4 games is definitely in play.  It should be fun to watch and see how this team handles the pressure of Boston.  I’m looking forward to it.

Now, where’s the closest KFC and drive-thru beverage store?  I need to get my pregame on.

Hide your kids, hide your wife! More importantly,HIDE YOUR CHICKEN AND BEER!
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